Reading the Recruiter’s Polite Rejection
“I will present you to the hiring manager in the next few days and then get back to you.”
Almost everyone in product has heard this at one time or another. It is a typical end to a recruiter phone screen. If you haven’t figured it out yet, that is a polite rejection.
If the recruiter doesn’t end the call telling you to expect an email to book your time, they already know you are not going to the next round. (There are some exceptions, but they are few and very company dependent).
Another telltale signs that you didn’t pass the phone screen is noticing that the recruiter also didn’t volunteer up the next steps of the interview process. If you got an explanation of the recruiting process after this common description of the next steps from your recruiter, you probably had to ask.
In my experience, 99% of the time a recruiter says they need to “check with the hiring manager” at the end of a recruiter phone screen, the recruiter has already determined I am not a fit.
Why do they do this?
Humans are generally nice and empathetic people, particularly those in recruiting. They deal with us when we are at our best and our worst. They know we are stressed but for whatever reason we are not a fit for the company. It is easy to end with a polite hint of possibility rather than a rejection.
Most people, if they were told no-go at the end of a 30-minute call would do one of two things:
Ask why?
Try to pitch themselves harder.
If asked why, the recruiter is put in a position where they can’t answer. Anything they say will get them in trouble. And humans have a hard time not answering when asked a question, so they are saving themselves and the company from a lot of headaches.
Saying No is Difficult
When was the last time you delivered bad news to someone in person? It is difficult for both parties. It is particularly difficult for recruiters because they could get sued if they say something wrong. Therefore, it is safest to say something reasonable to end the call politely. Saying that you are going to check with the hiring manager is similar to you saying you have to check with your spouse/parent/sibling when negotiating a salary.
Why was I rejected?
You could have been rejected for any number of reasons. Some common ones I have seen:
Lack of Passion For small startups, you don’t show passion for the company; you are out. This is fair. It is less critical for big tech where they sell you on the company.
Zero to One (0-1) For companies big and small, they are looking for someone who has taken something from idea to implementation. We don’t get a lot of experience doing this in real life. Most people who do it often are in startups for a reason.
The number of hiring managers looking for people who have extensive repeat work experience with 0-1 products blows my mind. I often really want to see who they get. Very few people have truly done a lot of repeated zero-to-one unless they started their own company or worked in a department that only builds new products.
Hiring Manager Preferences Maybe they have learned the hiring manager is looking for something specific. Even if they see potential in you, they may be worried about losing trust in their partners by presenting you. If they are good and you are good, eventually they will reach back out, maybe not at this company but at others.
PTSD Maybe someone before you had similar traits, and they advocated for this person and got burned.
Too Junior or Too Senior We often over or under-sell ourselves on LinkedIn. You might have said something that made you sound more or less of what they needed. I am often too senior, I find myself saying I would have rejected me if I was the hiring manager.
Too Much/Not Enough of anything from Big Tech to Startup cultures or maybe product types. The more competitive the market, the more they can find exactly what they think they need. Now reality might be different. For example, I know of a number of startups that hired big tech candidates and got burned and now avoid them.
Bias And maybe they were biased, everything from sexism to racism and everything in between. But you will not be able to solve that by debating their logic for rejection on the phone call. If it really seems like racism, work through specialized groups to advocate for change. (I work with Black Product Managers to change bias in recruiting. You can help by joining advocate groups inside and out of your companies.)
In short, there are too many factors at play to know. Just keep at it.
Why do they make us wait?
If they never get back to you after the phone screen where they said any of the above, they probably got busy and forgot. In today’s world, the best recruiters have an automation step or an almost automated step where they send a polite rejection on a timed delay when they get off the call with you. If you don’t hear back, they probably got busy and forgot to set up the timed-delay message and then will respond when you reach out looking for more in a week or so.
It isn’t malicious. They are busy. Remember, they have a lot going on in the background. If you are not a fit, they must keep going; the pressure to fill that role has not ended.
Next time a recruiter speaks with you on the phone and doesn’t follow up, please realize they are stuck in a difficult position. Maybe with the increase in AI, some new tools are being built that will probably help them trigger a polite rejection promptly so you don’t feel you have been left hanging.
