Preparing for Difficult Conversations
A lot of people, particularly new managers, avoid difficult conversations until it is too late. Don’t do that. Overcome your fears. It is my hope that this guide will help you prepare.
Throughout my many years of managing people, I have attended a number of trainings on difficult conversations. Here I will share some learnings in the form of a preparation guide. If you are getting ready to have a difficult conversation, consider walking yourself through this list.
This list is primarily from my notes after a session from BetterManager. I have heard these tips from a number of different sources, but I liked this particular list as it was straightforward and easy to work from .
Step 1: Identify the pressing issue.
Write down: The issue you intend to resolve.
Step 2: Describe the issue.
What is going on?
How long has this been going on?
How serious or important is the situation?
Step 3: Determine the current impact.
How is this issue impacting me?
How is this issue impacting others?
When I consider the impact on myself and others, what are my emotions?
Step 4: Determine the future implications.
If nothing changes, what’s likely to happen?
What’s at stake for me and for others relative to this issue?
When I consider these possible implications, what are my emotions?
Step 5: Examine your personal contribution to this issue.
How have I contributed to the problem?
Step 6: Describe the ideal outcome.
When this issue is resolved, what difference will that make?
What positive results will I experience?
When this issue is resolved, what positive results will others experience?
Step 7: Commit to action and a timeframe.
What positive outcome am I committed to supporting?
When will I schedule this difficult conversation?
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