I was told about this trick about a decade ago by a good friend and it works most of the time. Set a pattern for your 1:1s for relationships where you need their input on your work. It is mostly for managers but it can work with senior level stakeholders who need to know you have heard what they need to tell you.

Run your meeting in three parts.

1. Inform: Just FYI, not feedback needed.

2. Inform with possibility of Advice: What you think you have under control but they might know more than you about the situation and can provide help.

3. Seeking Advice: Items you need their advice/input on to get unblocked or to get on the same page.

When Doesn’t It Work

Some managers and partners/stakeholders ALWAYS have to give you ‘feedback’ even when they should just be listening. In this case, either email or skip the first two categories and jump to where you know you need help.

Why This Works

There are three main reasons this work:

1. Rule of Three :: Meeting broken into digestible part

2. Control the Flow :: Your partner knows what to expect every time

3. Active Listening :: Let’s you listen to what they have to share.

Giving Credit

Ken Blanchard came up with this system for managers. But I find it is helpful for managing up so I recommend it to both managers and direct reports.